This hilarious bit of sarcasm about conferences was in last week's New Yorker:
by George Meyer
My favorite bit:
The ROUNDTABLE is the rollicking wench of conferences, fleshy and abundant. No one sets out more bountiful pitchers of ice water. Get there early. Steal close to a far, sweating carafe. Press it to your lips and quaff, quaff till you're breathless. No one will stop you. If they do, run. You can always sneak back in.